Film Futurist

I’m tired of talking about art. I want to talk about money. Can we just have an art-free conversation today? Ok, here it goes. Aah, I think I smell the faint aroma of the Sundance acquisition. It’s crisp, like fresh money. Like your payout on a roulette win in Las Vegas. That sweet stash of cash sitting there like the suitcase in Who Want’s To Be A Millionaire, just waiting to be had by some lucky, lucky kid.

So how about, by way of tribute to the greenback and our indie taste for it, I make a list of films that got the cash in the suitcase? And then…well, maybe how some big ones turned out. Don’t forget that everyone lies about their budget, their marketing and their purchase price but Box Office numbers maybe the closest figures we have to any truth in recorded information.

#5 HAMLET 2

Reported Budget: $9M

Rumored Sundance 2008 Sale Price: $10M

Box Office: $4.8M

My 2 Cents: I actually liked it…but it wasn’t no HSM or Glee – who’s the audience again?

#4 NEXT STOP WONDERLAND

Reported Budget: $1M

Rumored Sundance 1998 Sale Price: $6M

Box Office: $3.4M

My 2 Cents: Rom-Com Indie ? A little more plot and it should’ve/would’ve been a studio pic with a bigger marketing budget.

#3 HAPPY TEXAS

Reported Budget: $1.7M

Rumored Sundance 1999 Sale Price: $10M

Box Office: $1.9M

My 2 Cents: Comedy about two cons impersonating a gay couple in Texas. Can’t remember – was that before or after gay rights stopped being a joke?

#3 CHOKE

Reported Budget: $3M

Rumored Sundance 2008 Sale Price: $5M

Box Office: $2.9M

My 2 Cents: I couldn’t get through it so someone please fill me in.

#2 BLACK DYNAMITE

Reported Budget: $2.9M

Rumored Sundance 2009 Sale Price: $2M

Box Office: $229,000

My 2 Cents: Let’s see: if you’re under 35, don’t know what blaxploitation is, you might as well be watching a foreign film.

#1 GRACE IS GONE

Reported Budget: $3M

Rumored Sundance 2007 Sale Price: $4M

Box Office: $50,000

My 2 Cents: Wow. That’s all I can say. We were depressed as a nation. And thought others might like to be as well.